i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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