Your tits are I can't wait for
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize