i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
