I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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