Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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