just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
