I hate all girls vehemently.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i think i have two assholes
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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