I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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