turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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