There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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