found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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