shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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