Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
