I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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