we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
