I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
