I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
