Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
well you can't waste a boner
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
