I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Oh god it's open bar.
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