whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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