if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
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