But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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