five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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