i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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