I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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