I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
