omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
