I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize