I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
