Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
