dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
farters have to be the big spoon...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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