This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize