we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
