I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
