Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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