chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
