i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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