You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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