Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
