This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
