let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
