dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
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Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
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There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
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