Kiss
Puke
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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