i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
