I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
im holly from the hills drunk
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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