There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
