Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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