I'm drive I can fine osifer
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
