some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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