i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
