You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
