she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.