I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...