dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.