I have demons in me.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.