I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
