I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
