when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
