Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
