Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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