Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize