ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
