Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
